Saturday, May 27, 2006

Unrequited Love

How could u change the nature of the thorn & expect it to never rend again?
How could you seek comfort when that’s something it has never been?
How could you try to forget what was never meant to be forgotten?
It was a lesson…just a lesson.
For the final time, stop this pain. There is nothing even left to feel anymore.
Wish this heart could forget everything.
It isn’t easy, it never was.
Tears of disappointment rise once & again.
None to forgive,
One to never forget.
Why had hope deserted when love decided to stay?
Why did bitterness come walking in while it still occupied the place?
Why when all went down, did it never bow out?
It's not hatred that's burning inside, it's that unrequited passion.
Die, I say.
Die, I pray.
Die, there's nothing worthy left today.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Witnessing a Miracle

I was posted at the gynae ward on our usual rotations. Finally after the long dragging classes at the clinic we were looking forward to the end of the round. We had two last days before the posting would be over. As routine, there was only one thing we all looked forward to going to the gynae ward-a delivery. We thought that despite the 4 weeks we had had, it would not be possible for us to see any baby being brought into the world.

We were in for a pleasant surprise!

It had happened that everytime we went into the labor room, something or the other happened to the expecting mother & she had to be taken to the OT for which none of us were prepared so missed out a couple of "happenings" due to it.

One morning we heard the news that there was a woman ready to deliver. We refused to do any examination & just ran into the labor room. The lady did get unnnerved having 5 more people around her but we refused to budge. We watched the trainee work efficiently with the lady. It was her first so it was taking time. We constantly heard her tell the woman to "push" whenever she felt the contractions coming on.

At first we all were excited but as the woman fell into distress we became unnerved. A few of the girls began feeling nauseous &left the room only to return a while later. We thought "oh here goes another woman into the OT thanks to our cursed presence!"

We were losing hope to see the delivery to the end. The doctor did show us the head of the fetus lying at the end of the birth canal. We were amazed. It seemed such a small distance from the womb to the world. But it was taking alot of time.

There was alot of dirty stuff happening; even the disinfection was kindda gross due to the color of the liquid. The entire prospect of shoving the hand in to feel the head movement or for any obstruction was disturbing. Not like it could be helped! Then there was the trickling of blood & water. The woman was in pain & whining which made the entire prospect scarier than it was. I hate to admit it, but I was actually thinking why someone would want to go through this kind of pain for a child. The other girls were worried bout their figures. They kept verbalising that it was pointless to try so hard only to end up like that!

The senior dr walked in when the junior staff thought that the labor was prolonged. We got scolded by her because we were supposed to be somewhere else. Anyways, we heard it all but didnt leave. Time passed... Vacuum machine...went out of order at the last minute. Annoyance! Then came in the forceps...left one in the left hand, in it went on the left side...right one on the right.

Baby was even stubborn so the doc finally pulled it out with force! Whoosh! went the water & out came the cheesy baby. As routine it was struck on the bottom to make it cry. The placenta came later. All of us were estatic! Birth was really a miracle worth watching & expericiening..not only at the time of delivery but through each step. It was a happy atmosphere. The ordeal was over. The mother was happy. The child was alive. I was filled with excitement. I finally understood what all that pain was worth! Posted by Picasa

Monday, May 01, 2006

Wat ppl say bout me...

Arena

(known to self and others)

independent, knowledgeable, logical, mature, observant

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, adaptable, bold, brave, calm, caring, clever, complex, confident, dignified, energetic, friendly, giving, idealistic, intelligent, loving, modest, reflective, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

organised

Unknown

(known to nobody)

accepting, cheerful, dependable, extroverted, happy, helpful, ingenious, introverted, kind, nervous, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, silly, spontaneous, tense

All Percentages

able (20%) accepting (0%) adaptable (6%) bold (20%) brave (6%) calm (6%) caring (13%) cheerful (0%) clever (6%) complex (20%) confident (20%) dependable (0%) dignified (13%) energetic (6%) extroverted (0%) friendly (6%) giving (20%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (13%) independent (20%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (40%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (20%) logical (6%) loving (33%) mature (20%) modest (6%) nervous (0%) observant (13%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (20%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (6%) self-assertive (13%) self-conscious (6%) sensible (13%) sentimental (26%) shy (13%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (6%) tense (0%) trustworthy (26%) warm (33%) wise (6%) witty (20%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 1.5.2006, using data from 15 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view blackempress's full data.