Forget-you-not

How can I forget you when you are everywhere I go?

You are in the songs, you are in the rain

You are in every place, over the hills and plains.

I see you in the moon, I sense you in the trees

I find you amongst the colors, adorned with filigree.

You live in my thoughts and visit my dreams,

You sit beside me by the lakes and walk along the streams,

Your face and voice follow me wherever I am,

Innocent when tranquil and wise in bedlam.

It may be over, but the end is not in sight

Being with you is wrong but I can't seem to make it right. 

Doomed Love

The object of affection takes no blame for it's stature
It is worshipped unasked, undeterred by it's demeanor
The moth and the flame knowingly await their fate
In the lover and the loved there is a compulsion
Submission to oneself versus devotion to the other. 

Fallen Angel

In your eyes I see infinity,
far more beautiful than all the galaxies.
I see stars, dancing  across the horizon of your eyes
The moonlight glows from the inches of your skin
 & within the circumference of your arms does Heaven lie

The tale of time

I have veils of tears in my eyes
Unspoken words on my lips
& whirlpool of memories in my head
They tell me 'do' then they tell me' don't'
It is not I, but this pen that's compelled to express my state
I am stuck in an hourglass, watching the sands slip, awaiting my turn to fall
You look but do not speak
Trapped within the bars of your own World
Have you not seen a hunger like yours in my eyes?
But you would not trade material for an ounce of feminine sentiments,
Hypnotized you walk away, leaving me to my emotional drama,
Lost like a child, I stare in disbelief,
Observing you fade from the purview of my life.

Lunacy

All that's missing on this perfect moonlit night is you & the open sea.
Where you are just a fading outline,
& there's only the ripples of the lunar glow streaming across the waters & me.

The crippled pa-pillion

Forsaken

A shroud of silence takes over as though the heart has forsaken it's rhythmic dance. The streets stand damp & darkness stains it miserable. Cold barren hands I warm against myself gazing at the nothingness around me. How empty is my world without you or your demons to keep me alive!

I call upon your devils to return in vain, expecting nothing within my expectations. The stars glisten as the winds howl. Everything stands in it's place except I. Once broken from the root of my soul, stranded I am like a leaf blown away.

Dipsomaniac

You are a companion like Alcohol
Bitter to swallow, but numbing to the senses
Your deceitful comfort lets me drown into intoxication
And the seduction enslaves to addiction,
You are but poison that's killing me slowly-destroying me inside-out. 

Pieces on Fire

Here are the pieces of my heart
Broken & set ablazed for you
Hope they scald your skin the way you burnt my soul!

Futuristic thoughts

Depression is not a mental illness. It is simply the manifestation of 'failure to self-actualise' by attaching importance to external agendas that ultimately collapse.

The Shake

The Universe calls us to the truth every now & then.
It is upto us to acknowledge that awakening or return to our slumber.

Frozen

Days pass but not empty of your thought

Your accustomed winter chills my blood

Freezing the snow covered chambers of this heart

Your pain like smoke chokes my breath

Your unceasing darkness clouding & drowning me under to an unseen world

The bleeding scars reminisce a rose rend by it's own thorn

See that blood sweep over the sheath of my love?

I now carry it's stain, the very substance of your life!

Kiss me so I can live, or kill me so I can die,

Leave me not in this misery of owning you & possessing nothing.

(18-10-12)

The Flame

There's a fire within me that's hotter than any flame outside.
Shall I fear the burn when this flesh has no sensation left!

Seductively Bound

Tears of blood fall into dry desert where poisoned flowers grow.
Grows thereon a fruit That entices with it's ripeness & ensnares with a promise.
The flavor stirs an insatiable hunger gently incurring a venomous death.
Lost control & Fallen like a feather into my world, of shadows & dreams.
Treacherous desires hold captive under the sea of forbidden passion.
Devour Unfathomed till you Plunge into my dark & embrace Infinity.

Artiste

She is a canvas for my thoughts
Swirling the hues through & over her emotions
Every stroke veils a tale of love.
And the colors express emotions forbidden to language.
Her silken beauty inspires the brushes to dance in her palette.
& only the dark knows that I paint with her light.
With a virtuoso touch, I turned into an artist & She became my Art.

Perfume

Your memory like fragrance fills the room of my heart with fire
You are the scent my soul longs to wear.

Love in the Stars

Look at the constellation in the sky
See the yearning grow as she approaches her awaiting lover
Kept apart by time & distance
Hear her stories of searching for his affection in other companions in vain
Craving to be united with the only one,
See the flames of romance rise as they meet eye-to-eye in absolute surrender
Unconcerned for conventionality or worldly demands
Nothing mattered except their union of bliss
'Come hither lover, let us no longer shy. We'll celebrate our sentiments across the galaxy. Let those who watch, long for our kind of liaison'
Dreamy eyed he answers to every fantasy of her mind
Reawakening the passion she had forgotten in his absence
Her secrets & timeless ideals warm & guarded under his armor
In faithless submission they opened their hearts & let their feelings perfect the moment
Etching their ecstasy on the heavens to be remembered forever!

Fairy tales

Love marriages should be entitled
'They lived happily ever'
Because that's how all fairy tales end.

Lover of Fantasy

Don't ask where us writers get our inspiration from,
We are faithless wanderers of unspeakable passions. 

Dream-state

I saw you whirl & float away into the waves.
The tides of my emotions where I wished you would drown.

Overflow from my mind & trickle into my eyes
Roll down as a memory then fade like a drifted sigh. 

A Philosopher's Romance

You have become A Philosopher's romance
Unleashed by the reins holding mankind,
So come love, let us cross the bridges of time.

Emerge like a Monarch from your languid disposition,
Escape under the guise of the shadows
Fears threaten but surrender not to their illusions
We will dance to the twirls of the wind
& cuddle under the wraps of the clouds
Let those behind, seek us in disappointment,
We will hide behind the veil of the moon.

Mistress of Darkness

I gave up fear & the spirits began to dread me,
Shadows fell at my feet & kissed the floor beneath
The Demons crowned me, Mistress of Darkness.

Idealism

What is Love without attainment of it's Divine state?
People make but, poor voyagers of the soulful journey!

Love for a day

If I could love you for just one day I would abandon the world to dedicate every minute to your honor. I would lay all the riches at your feet to make you happy. Oh what a perfect day it shall be!
I would dance with delight to the tune of your laughter. I would fly with the spreading wings of your smile. I would shine with the look in your eyes, staring back at me with their luminous intensity. And their seduction how it invites me to see the hunger of your soul & fill its emptiness with affection.
I would love to love you, the way no one has ever done. To feel you in completion-like body & soul. Your soul in mine so it could blossom like a flower with it's beauty & fragility. What a joy it would be to love you if even only for a day!

I would kiss every inch of your skin till each scar loses it's existence & pain shivers without a place to hide. Let it fade slowly as I breathe your scent to fill my heart, soul & all my senses. I would hold your hand & chant those sacred words to make your heart sing. I would lift you high with compliments & spoil you till blushes replace speechlessness. How it would wax my desire to give more!

That day, I would only listen to the sound of your voice raving bout the stories that captured your gentle heart. I would lay beside you tracing the outlines until my fingers could draw every contour to perfection.

I would stroll with you on the shore & admire those waves of emotion within you. I won't hide my admiration. I wouldn't step away. I would allow you to etch every moment with the signature of your smile or desire.

For the last moment of perfection I would pray upon the night to set a million diamond sky just so you know how priceless you are to me.When the sun would go down, I would watch it set in your eyes, letting it fade like you from my heart.

I would hold you for the final time as I walk down memory lane without you. Down the path we travelled in those precious moments, away from the sights that held your presence, turning deaf ears to the grace of your words as I forsake the scent & feel of your body, removing the contours till they become untraceable. I would erase your name from the door of my heart locking every voice of rebellion within. You would become a stranger as I drain your soul out of mine & simply turn so your enticement wouldn't charm me again.

I would push you away, out of my life abandoning all but an extinct memoir. With that I would leave your conceited love & return to my life unknowing the pleasure so I may never wish for another day to love you again.

Photo-Journal

Dark Obsession

Here I am, ready to give all I have for that moment of oneness with you.  My insecurities behind me, I am prepared to take the sacred journey into the realm of emotions.  Knock down my fortress with your passionate weaponry then undress yourself of this useless armor.  It only serves to hide our immaculacy. Let us lose every ounce of humanness & surrender without a doubt.

I want to abandon this absurd world & indulge in your mysterious crux.  I want to dance till I'm intoxicated with temptation. Let me feel you till every pore emanates your fragrance. I want to hold you against my soul. I will heal, protect & melt into your formless mold filling every inch with spiritual ecstasy.  Let the rupture of seduction rhythm us through the motions.  Drown your worries into my passion & be born anew, my fearless warrior.  Reveal to me your darkest secrets & revel in your magnificence. I care for nothing but to stand unafraid & unashamed in this glorious flame of romance.

Avert those alluring eyes from the insanity of the mundane life. Let’s escape into a world where bodies, beats & breaths have no existence.  Let not our relationship be measured by name, time or distance. Allow the ocean of our sensations subjugate any restriction between us.  I am love & you are the object of my affection.  Be in no hurry, I want to relish you till I’m drunk. This insatiable hunger is like an addict's craving & your drug is just not enough.

Dread not the shadows world for the light will shine for us. There shall exist nothing but You & I in absolute perfection.  Rekindle this devotion for all life-times to come.  Let no tide break us apart, not even death.  With its kiss shall we begin our inseparable union.

Fill me till my existence merges into yours & there is nothing but our souls dancing into infinity. Live in me while I live in you. Relent all reason & just be my Obsession.

Undesirable

I am lost on these familiar roads of life
Homeless under the provided shelter
Loveless & forsaken by those called humans
Demons dragged me down under
& I lost track of the way back
Dark, now my chosen abode
Chains, the only faithful friends
My mind occupied with obscene desires
The body impregnated with sins
Only faithless hands lift in senseless prayers
The being's coming to life.

The mirror shattered in punishment for it's lies
A woman could not be a psychotic beast
This inhuman form is a delusion of a failing vengeance
Arms barren but hands hold the crop of spite
Love was a doom set for the naive
I prefer this madness to insipidity
It's a losing war to Satan
Won't call upon God tonight, to witness myself surrender
So come now Death, the soul awaits release from this cripple!

Spiritual Freedom

Speak to me without talking
Let your wounds bleed over my skin
Fear not your fears
I will carry you through the dark
Pretend no strength
I will shelter you from harm.

Let the truth in you connect to my spirit for release
Unburden your sorrows onto my restless heart
Don't leave me empty like you usually do
Merge into my very essence
I crave to taste your soul tonight.

Death

You walk by my side without invitation
You silence me by the power of your presence
You are the master of the shadows
Your guises scaring the strongest of hearts
You hold immortality & still I'm afraid to look you in the face
You, the weight that hush these lips
You, the secret I carry alone
You, the fearless fear
You, the living's worst nightmare
You, the ultimate truth
You, the door-keeper of destiny
You, the extinguisher of life
You, the carver of my journey
You, my partner of darkness
You, my inevitable Fate.

Pure beginnings

What comfort do you seek from this material world, mortal?
There is no peace in the perishable.
All that is finite can turn into void
So become the void & merge with the Infinite!

Soul-deep encounter

I met a woman who was classy if considered anything above normal- a psychologist by profession & nearly 20 years older to me. There was nothing unusual expected out of a professional relationship. Yet the encounter was anything but ordinary despite less than an average interaction.

I’ve kinda forgotten the reason for hanging in but the second time I entered the room, I saw her fortified within a highly energized bubble which I mistook for frustration but deciphered her need to retreat into a protected world was intense emotional pain. I knew there was no space for my insignificant rambling & an intrinsic quality of breaking defenses rose wanting to shatter the barrier though conjured the need for time. It only helped to maintain my calm with certain attitudes later. I already knew there was nothing a bit of patience couldn’t fix.

Despite normal interaction I began having a queer sense of familiarity that logic even forwent. I had no personal information & still the person felt as though she’d been there all my life. I thought my analytical arrogance was souring absurdly so pushed it aside. What followed after, I had no clue but the human sitting in front of me became an empty vessel that I could access psychically as though all barriers between us vanished & I could really touch the soul sitting more than 5 ft away. All I was doing was talking or listening but the magnetism drew me against resistance like I would actually ‘drown’ in her. I could read her thoughts. I could feel her pain. I knew how to heal. Like never before I found myself saying “I could be you”-a real time mirror. If insanity had another name, it should’ve been mine.

To think that I was chosen to be the piece fitter of the ‘puzzle’ was enough but rest of the story was oracular.I slowly began comprehending the threatening energy that centered our encounters- Her power, to change me & mine to unlock her. I had only known transcendence in a dreamy way, this was not the kind. This union was transformative & what could follow; neither had a clue & frankly better unknown. Despite experience I feared intense encounters & more over the power of someone over me.

I was tempted to explore the realm but needed safety gear minus all restrictions. There was neither & for an all-or-none enthusiast I refused to play. This relationship was gardened by intellectual pursuits, bolted by respect but still scarred by confusion of roles & embedded dominance. The underworld only promised growth without the thought of cost. We had to do the thinking for ourselves & maybe that was the actual lesson of meeting a powerful woman at a level that was veritably soul-deep.

Immortality

The mind scoffs the persistence of foolishness beyond maturity. Wasted youth on dreams of glamor led to the nothingness I hold today. Those perils that I endured for the heartache now linger like scars around my failing knees.This world though beautiful stands empty unshared. This soul suffers loneliness. Still I expect peace from those who know it not, these sufferable humans. This looming fear exchanged for love is the last of the flame that once burnt. Composed poems now like scrap circle with the blowing wind . Time dried the fountain of words that rushed the heart & laid it barren.
 Silence these beats now, deafened ears can't hear no more. Play those senseless games because the drunk can set no rules. Erase those dreams then eternally seal the passionate heart; with love on it's deathbed mortality is about to die!

Moonlight Madness

I stroll down the barren paths bathed in moonlight with the wintry breeze ablow. Thoughts of you fill my mind with their gentle madness intoxicating my senses to calm. You do not exist but I surrendered my soul to your mortal emptiness & alas I still linger onto those imaginary pieces of you.  

The Chosen one

Make me the pen that writes your name on the hearts of people
Make me the Book that eyes read to praise Your Glory
Make me the Voice that speaks of Your Wonders across the lands
Make me the Sword that fights in Your Name
Make me the Fire that burns all that You forsook
Make me the Messiah that leads people towards Your way
Make me the Love that melts the hardest hearts to embrace Your Passion
Make me the Lawyer who deals the hand of Justice
Make me the Light that torches the darkened paths
Give me the wisdom to understand Your hidden Grace
Give me the knowledge to silence the stormiest seas
Give me the patience to bear the troubles with courage
O Almighty, make me amongst Your chosen ones.

The Healer

My heart is like an ocean that has washed a dozen shores. It ebbs, recedes & roars within its own majesty.  It has drowned the pains of many & tumbled back in itself to immaculacy. It is the healer that regenerates perpetually flowing over the seared flesh leaving it anew. It buries within treasures awaiting discovery-the secrets for nourishment of the soul & the meaning to life-the answers of creation comprising of you & me & all that makes us one. Rejoice the essence of life, in a world within & above us. Come, I want to meet you there. 

The Winner stands alone

Standing at the cliff of relationship mount watching the last ones fall off. There's a whiff of Sadness as the mask of pretense melts away. There's no one left to face anymore.
It's death of naivety as the adult emerges. No gamers left to play the chances of love. Time to dance alone to those composed tunes & turn into thy own song. The soul has found ultimate freedom & wonders fill the heart with glorious light. I have perfected the art of winning the game & losing the people.

The last attachment

I pull on my cloak of silence letting the cold loneliness steal away the smiles that danced around my face with a muse to entertain. I allow my heart to break one last time before turning my back on hope of ever being together again. I let you fly, free as you’ve always been, only captivated prisoner by a heart allured by your beauty. I allow darkness to creep between the life & death I experience within this breathing body. I let the fire of my anguish burn your memories to ashes & wish the wind to carry the last of my lovers away. 

Self-actualisation

We  resist achieving our full potentials out of a fear of falling into our depths & finding something ugly there; We struggle enough to stay sane with our social identities already.

Wrong place to land

What brings you to this place?
There's nothing but emptiness here. . . 

Inkling #1

There's a thin line between genius & insanity. I often wonder which side I fall on.

Volatile Splendor

I am black. I am white

I'm the dark & the purest of light
Discover splendors of the world within my little heart
Savor the sweet tenderness in the words of art

I am mystery with all it's depth
Dare not question the corners I've crept
I'll ease your pain with a touch of my hand
Talk without words & I'll understand

Give me your heart strings & let me play

Allow my emotions to sweep you away

Close your eyes & hold me close
Cherish the fantasy as you rise to find yourself alone. 

Ultimate love story

Life is a series of love stories-learning self-love through every occurring change. 

The Comfortable turbulence

A light of hope yet another closure.

Why the necessity to FEEL again when the outcome never changes?

A burnt out hole to bleed forever more.

Can’t hold on. Can’t let go.

Again the darkness

Again the silence

Would this pain never cease?

Won’t this cycle ever stop?

Just stop.

Leave the ocean to regulate it’s own tides

Turbulence finally feels like home. 

Obsessed by insanity

“I’m floating in the flood of my evoked tears, wishing to drown & embrace infinity but I can’t. The ache sears the flesh with haunting flashbacks leaving the body in helpless trembles.I reach to stifle the pain unsuccessfully as the music comes alive & voices start talking.

I wince in agony ‘ I’ll drown but I’ll take you down with me. I want to show you another world. I want to break your bonds with everything you’ve known to be safe just to take a trip with me. How do you awaken a storm & expect it to not even touch you?” 

Into the Fade

This is the end-a post to mark that you existed within the lines of this page once. You no longer linger in the realms of my mind. Reality has uncrowned you for good. Goodbye dear perfect dream. You slowly seeped through the walls of my heart, had a long meaningless stay then crept into The Fade. You are finally dead. R.I.P

Emotional Encounter

Another love sick fool dreaming of a romance that never existed beyond the mind. Don't laden your eyes with the burdens of a restless heart.There is nothing but absurd writing here. You too stranger, don't be hassled by the pains of a dreamer's imagination. It was not your fault that the heart skipped a beat when you crossed. Take no blame for the bitterness of a woman's plight but forgive her ignorance.In her mind she had lived a perfect fantasy to escape the boredom of a mundane life.  Call it innocence as she wasn't aware of it's hazards. Knitting the dreams she began to believe them to come true but tested against reality that shattered like glass against the wall.

  Don't let my story delay your journey stranger, it bears no weight compared to the important things in your life. Apologies for the hurt that those searing words may have caused. Erase I cannot the words of resentment thrown your way for imagined slights. You are a patient man to remain & listen to a worthless tale. Be not amused nor frightened of the bizarre words you hear. You may mistake them to be directed at you but you have done no harm so forgive the pain bestowed upon you.

 Stay no further stranger should I rouse feelings of pity from you. Leave me with the little self respect that I feign to possess while I lament the love I failed to evoke from you. Bid sweet farewell as you  leave with those pieces of a shattered dream. Value the secret that there's no one who holds a candle to you. Be on your way & don't relate what you have heard to another  soul. It's just an unworthy narration that should be erased & forgotten, as it bore nothing but guilt & sorrow in it's consequence.

Not as we

This is our life story. A story about love & bonds, of good times & understanding, mistakes & hopes & most of all learning & leaving. This is the story of how WE split into YOU & ME.

There are no words to express the treasure I held when holding you. There are no words to express the pain I felt when losing you. Yet there was only silence. Silence despite the storm in the sea, emptiness in place of love, anger instead of clarification-let it die. Kill the years, slaughter the memories-forget the past, leave it all behind.

Time distanced us then a storm put us together again then another took us apart.

There are faces you’ve forgotten that are etched on my heart. There are memories that you’ve discarded that I’d taken pride from. Now there is nothing. Nothing to keep together, nothing to say, nothing left to do. Paths are divided. You go your way; I’ll go mine-not as we, but as you & me. Not with pleasant memories but with bitterness & regret. This is our story-a tragedy.

Wishful Thinking

~Yet we choose to submerge ourselves in this unpredictable sea of emotions, being rocked by tides

of love, lust, fear & hope- Never knowing that the same ocean can carry & leave us stranded on lonely islands far apart~

A missed tale

He came in the night & kissed my head as I lay, my bod mostly bare with the chemise on. He told me he loved me so I believed it. He loved her, he didn’t tell me but I knew. I could read his eyes. To him, like to the men before him, I’d transformed from a woman to a sexual object. I was to blame, I suppose they were right. The only love I deserved was from what they obtained pleasure or else, I’d no rights to feel or desire. They failed to see the human element of emotional hunger that I expressed between those kisses & cuddles. They would rather label me a nymphomaniac than understand my need for love. I was desirable-good to know. I was rich & glamorous-perfect make of a mistress. I was lonely, hollow & scared- denied to possess the qualities.

 Night after night, for years I pleased one, then another hoping to find something lasting. The bed was warm but it left me cold each time the door shut behind them. I searched for someone different. I wanted something real. Then I did find that someone, who loved me for me & replaced the pain with his warmth & affection. I happily gave my hand for the ring. My life was full of bliss-at least for a while. Then his eyes changed as he grew restless trying to find something new. The glow I held began to diminish as emptiness crawled back, bringing insecurity & bitterness for company. History repeated itself as summer turned to a permanent winter. So this night was like the nights before but left a shaper chill as his footsteps turned to leave the door.

The rewarded professional

Standing admist a large crowd a voice asks me

“Where are they?”

“Who?”

“Your friends?”

“They were here a while ago” I answer looking around at the unfamiliar faces surrounding me “Don’t you see a group of smiling faces or hear their bouts of laughter?”

“No”

“Aren’t those lovely people around beaming smiles in my direction?”

“No, but far amongst the crowd some old faces do loom about”

“There is something missing inside me” I relate “But there is so much warmth around”

“It’s the love of the common people”