Into the Fade

This is the end-a post to mark that you existed within the lines of this page once. You no longer linger in the realms of my mind. Reality has uncrowned you for good. Goodbye dear perfect dream. You slowly seeped through the walls of my heart, had a long meaningless stay then crept into The Fade. You are finally dead. R.I.P

Emotional Encounter

Another love sick fool dreaming of a romance that never existed beyond the mind. Don't laden your eyes with the burdens of a restless heart.There is nothing but absurd writing here. You too stranger, don't be hassled by the pains of a dreamer's imagination. It was not your fault that the heart skipped a beat when you crossed. Take no blame for the bitterness of a woman's plight but forgive her ignorance.In her mind she had lived a perfect fantasy to escape the boredom of a mundane life.  Call it innocence as she wasn't aware of it's hazards. Knitting the dreams she began to believe them to come true but tested against reality that shattered like glass against the wall.

  Don't let my story delay your journey stranger, it bears no weight compared to the important things in your life. Apologies for the hurt that those searing words may have caused. Erase I cannot the words of resentment thrown your way for imagined slights. You are a patient man to remain & listen to a worthless tale. Be not amused nor frightened of the bizarre words you hear. You may mistake them to be directed at you but you have done no harm so forgive the pain bestowed upon you.

 Stay no further stranger should I rouse feelings of pity from you. Leave me with the little self respect that I feign to possess while I lament the love I failed to evoke from you. Bid sweet farewell as you  leave with those pieces of a shattered dream. Value the secret that there's no one who holds a candle to you. Be on your way & don't relate what you have heard to another  soul. It's just an unworthy narration that should be erased & forgotten, as it bore nothing but guilt & sorrow in it's consequence.

Not as we

This is our life story. A story about love & bonds, of good times & understanding, mistakes & hopes & most of all learning & leaving. This is the story of how WE split into YOU & ME.

There are no words to express the treasure I held when holding you. There are no words to express the pain I felt when losing you. Yet there was only silence. Silence despite the storm in the sea, emptiness in place of love, anger instead of clarification-let it die. Kill the years, slaughter the memories-forget the past, leave it all behind.

Time distanced us then a storm put us together again then another took us apart.

There are faces you’ve forgotten that are etched on my heart. There are memories that you’ve discarded that I’d taken pride from. Now there is nothing. Nothing to keep together, nothing to say, nothing left to do. Paths are divided. You go your way; I’ll go mine-not as we, but as you & me. Not with pleasant memories but with bitterness & regret. This is our story-a tragedy.

Wishful Thinking

~Yet we choose to submerge ourselves in this unpredictable sea of emotions, being rocked by tides

of love, lust, fear & hope- Never knowing that the same ocean can carry & leave us stranded on lonely islands far apart~

A missed tale

He came in the night & kissed my head as I lay, my bod mostly bare with the chemise on. He told me he loved me so I believed it. He loved her, he didn’t tell me but I knew. I could read his eyes. To him, like to the men before him, I’d transformed from a woman to a sexual object. I was to blame, I suppose they were right. The only love I deserved was from what they obtained pleasure or else, I’d no rights to feel or desire. They failed to see the human element of emotional hunger that I expressed between those kisses & cuddles. They would rather label me a nymphomaniac than understand my need for love. I was desirable-good to know. I was rich & glamorous-perfect make of a mistress. I was lonely, hollow & scared- denied to possess the qualities.

 Night after night, for years I pleased one, then another hoping to find something lasting. The bed was warm but it left me cold each time the door shut behind them. I searched for someone different. I wanted something real. Then I did find that someone, who loved me for me & replaced the pain with his warmth & affection. I happily gave my hand for the ring. My life was full of bliss-at least for a while. Then his eyes changed as he grew restless trying to find something new. The glow I held began to diminish as emptiness crawled back, bringing insecurity & bitterness for company. History repeated itself as summer turned to a permanent winter. So this night was like the nights before but left a shaper chill as his footsteps turned to leave the door.