Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Tragedy of love

So this is how every story goes
One minute love & the next minute woe
A few moments of joy & all the rest is regret
In a game of love that’s all you get. 

Occasions like flowers fade
And fall down as they were made
All the sweet secrets & vows
Wholly in nothing is where they go.

A will to forget all that has past 
But the conscious craves to save the best for last 
All that happened isn’t easy to forget
But the only existing emotion is regret.

Regrets of the life that is dead 
Memories of days more done than said
 Endless search of traces of bliss 
In the days now missed.

After those moments of wishful hues 
The harsh reality comes into view 
With the present so forlorn 
& a pocket full of memories that stand alone.

Hopes which have forever past 
A love so sweet that it could not last 
Dreams that had vanished into thin air 
Shattering the images of a love so fair.

Monday, December 27, 2004

No One To Blame

Just another wish that went down the drain. Never expected much from life anyways. Not that it came as a surprise. I knew the story from alpha to omega but don’t know why expected that it would be different. I suppose we need to have high hopes in order to aspire & survive. Then again I forget that pain & pleasure go hand in hand. Certain things are truer for some than others. Perhaps it’s the approach. I’ve always said that the mind’s to blame. Even in this tale I know I’m the guilty one. Had I never given in, today I’d have been focusing on other things besides this broken heart. Well hearts were made to be broken, weren’t they? Gave up making promises long time ago when those were declared for breaking purposes. Where is a person to settle now? Hearts are cold in today’s time. No place to keep the head for every shoulder seeks material. I couldn’t accuse you in that respect. You were just careful in your own way. I guess you had enough going on in your life to take too much interest in someone else’s. You, the practical achievers, were always ahead of us. We, the grand dreamers, got little from life. So it becomes obvious that perception affects our disposition doesn’t it? What should I hold against you when everything seems to be against me? Well let’s blame the circumstances shall we? You carry along your path, I’ll find my way through those thick forests and maybe the lions might be having a party somewhere.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Wisdom Over Ideals

The eyes meet to give more than words would say

The delicate touch of the fingers takes the breath away

Enlocked in a private circle the shoulders adjoin

Not confessing the truth was just fine.

Sensations ran below the skin but never to manifest

After years of innocence finally roused from rest

The mind knew the truth but hid it well

Admitting it was love would only put through hell.

Hazy emotions misted the view on both sides

Accepting reality would hurt the pride

Falling in love wasn’t meant for the strong

Especially when the people appeared too wrong.

A different channel to vent that below

Completely dramatic characters continued the show

The real existence buried beneath the roles

Allowing time to later take its toll.

All putative that had never grown profound

A good friendship that may never touch another ground

But such currents never question the direction they take

But wisdom examines & warns that it could all be fake.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

The Sinful Pleasure

Expected too high to receive the pain
Unfulfilled remained the desire to be cruelly slain
 Hurt was an addiction the body desperately craved
Disregarded a heart without the slashes engraved.

No consideration for a body that never bled
Unattractive appeared the eyes that never shed
Human weren’t the hands that never shook
Unseared flesh wasn’t worth the look.

 Begged for a generous portion of the cruelty inflicted
 Deluged in the sensation the general opinion contradicted
Once only a feeling that turned into obsession
So silent suffering became the secret passion.

 Longed for the sensation to run in the veins
Prided in the reflection of the knife profoundly slain
The lunatic desire got labeled as source of regret
An enraging sin the heart could never forget.

Friday, December 24, 2004

A Hurting Beauty

Wish you didn’t laugh the way you do When the voice is weak & the heart is too Wish you didn’t think tears were for the weak It’s only human when they roll down the cheek. Wish you could see what’s above & understand the depth of love Wish you didn’t turn your eyes away When looks gave more than what words would say. Wish you could see when there was hurt inside & analyze the truth when the smile had lied Wish you would lend an ear to heal the pain & gave a little affection when nothing remained. Wish I could describe the way it feels To have bleeding scars that just won’t heal Wish you could pay my words some respect & won’t make it all so easy to forget. Wish your smile was more sincere than it is Wish it was easy to tell you all this Wish your attitude was a little less bold & you didn’t pretend to be so cold. Wish you understood that men too were human inside & their hearts did break even if covered by pride Wish I could change the way you feel But how could I be sure of something so well concealed?

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Drugged By Love

Forgive me for calling you

I understand that I am wrong

Forgive this heart that doesn’t cease beating

It’s just that these emotions come on strong.

I wish I could walk away

I wish I could erase the past

Simply carry on without a care

& by forgetting you, I could rest at last.

Had it been easy don’t you think I would’ve tried?

How could I forget the one who lightened me inside?

The one who made me smile & eased my frown

Who held my world when it was crashing down!

Teach me to check the tears filling these eyes

Save the body before it quietly dies

There’s only 1 hope of survival & that’s from you

Even without a chance I know you’d pull me through.

Despite trying I can’t let go

The more I hide my feelings the more it shows

Wish I could leave your hand & just turn away

But this soul would die long before the hair turn grey.

Believe me I’ve tried to leave you behind

But you’ve given the love of the purest kind

Every time I tried to leave, you bid me to remain

Now like an addict, without you, I’d go insane.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Mask of Deception

Smile the greatest smile to hide the pain
 Laugh the heartiest laugh but it would be in vain
 What comes from within is hard to conceal
Masks can’t hide what the heart reveals.
 Ignore the burning for want of peace
Suppress these emotions till they really cease
Deny their existence till they really die
Remnants will disappear as time goes by.

Friday, December 17, 2004

A Trust Broken

A forgotten memory till kindled by a notion No wind of change would bring back the emotion Held on too long, but felt all alone The broken trust turned the heart to stone. A tear streaked face kept hidden from all eyes Consoled oneself by believing in the lies Kept hopes high but waited in vain Then forsook those lands to stop the pain. Knew the depicted pictures images to be a delusion Truth was needed to give the conclusion Received too little to keep the flame aglow Time was close to end the show. Face turned away then received the call Grabbed a hand to break the fall Left with nothing but a pretentious face Cursing the betrayer for leaving imprints no time would efface.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Revival Of Love

Life has ways that you can’t tell
One minute it’s love & the other minute hell
Just when you think everything feels right something goes wrong & just when you think u know it, the player changes the song.
  Friend:There are things none of us can see 
They may not seem as they may be 
Once every while lives are shattered 
Due to misunderstanding with what really matters. 

When you think you’ve attained eternal bliss
Something minuscule might change this
The feeling of being loved can go away & nothing can chase the feeling irrespective of what anyone says.

Misunderstandings give way to broken dreams 
Things may actually be simpler than they seem 
Affectionate hearts may turn cold 
When bitter emotions get their hold.
Every wound takes time to heal 
One night can’t change the way you feel 
A lot of time & patience is a must 
If love is to revive & to regain trust.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Haunting flashbacks

I did my best to deny the way I feel
Now that wound will take a long time to heal
I kept denying that I loved you the way I did
& confirmed it when goodbye we bid.
 I was convinced that I wasn’t in love with you
 But reality soon began to seep through
From the look of love I tried to hide & condemned every emotion I felt inside.
I thought the vows would mark the end
But it only enhanced what I did pretend
Now those flashes return from the past
Haunting my life with what didn’t last.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Let Me Be the One

Chorus: Let me be the one to hold you through the night

The one to chase the darkness & bring in the light

Let me be the one to comfort you when it’s cold

The only friend you’d run a 1000 miles to hold.

Let me be the one you trust with all your life

Your friend, your world, your everything as your wife

Let me be the one who’d always make you smile

The one to cherish all your dreams & every while

I never thought that this could happen

I never felt it could come true

Never dreamt I’d find someone like you

The one to give me so much pleasure

The one to chase away my pain

I’d give my all tonight, if you


I swear I’ll always be there for you

Bring down the heaven if you ask me too

Say it once that you want me too

Promise …


Please let me be the only one

Monday, December 13, 2004

A Mere Fantasy

Why do you come to tease me like this?
You show me wonders that I could miss,
You come in my dreams to make me discontent
Why must you play with my sentiments?
 Why do you show me what I didn’t believe in before?
 Why do you lead me through new experiences, door after door?
You make me do things I’d never do
Then you make me fantasize what you put me through.
 I know that you can kill with your charm
 But why do you choose me to fill your arms?
I know that incomparable, irresistible is your dance.
But I’m not the one who’d like such romance.
 I have a life I need to live
I can’t be satisfied with what you give
I admit that you’re more than a handsome face
But your offers only make my life fall out of place.
 Spare me the dreams & its associated pain
Please let my life remain
You upset everything that is real
For nothing in my life compares to how you make me feel.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Etched On A heartbeat

You always believed that it was lust that filled this heart of mine
 I guarantee that it’s pure love that’s deep & divine
With every inch of my body I worship thee
In return I only ask to surrender to me.
 You’ve been the first sight my heart fell for
Since then it’s only you that I longed for
From the most innocent touch to the sweetest kiss
 I assume that Heaven can’t be better than this.
 One sight of you & all my worries go away
Your smile banishes every word I’d like to say
With one touch, I’m set on fire from head to feet & the only satisfaction is your embrace so sweet.
 From every scent to the last drop of sweat
You’d never know a truer love yet
The sun may come or the moon may not rise
But the beauty of light is all there in your eyes.
 With a single whisper you make the beat skip
With a single confession the whole world you grip
With one word of loyalty this life would be complete & to the last breath, etch your name on every heartbeat.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

An Identity Lost

An empty feeling that dwells inside
Dead are even the masks of pride
Flesh & bone once made this woman
But the body’s soulless to be called human.
 A painted face with a painted smile
The heart’s too numb to acknowledge a trial
 Hollow eyes continue to twinkle
Of once gold, only ash is left to sprinkle.
 Melodious laughter plays over & over again
Eyes don’t distinguish between the women & men
Words are void but really sweet
No reason to live but the heart continues to beat.
 The beat diminishes as time goes by
A wind blown petal against a painted sky
 Face of youth with a reflection of age
An instructed doll-like a model on stage.
 The soul & cold metal feel the same
Not life, but the mind is to blame
Change follows when the heart loses its voice
Then losing personality isn’t a choice.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Sweet Obsession

I got a bouquet for you. Wouldn’t you like to see? Just a few more hours before it withers! It’s got glitter sprinkled on it. I looked at it & don’t know why I thought of you. Hmm... Everything reminds of you anyways. I don’t know why I imagine you wearing the clothes I see or think what you’d think when I write something & even rehearse all the words picturing you before we meet. I remember you when I see your favorite food. I want you beside me when I go to a new place. I want you to share everything I experience from movies to new adventures. I live from moment to moment of reminiscing the time I share with you. Would you call this obsession? I do. You know something? I really don’t want you to find out. I’ll find it humiliating. I don’t want to tell you that I love you this much. It might drive you away. I don’t want to lose you. I really don’t. I would never have the courage to ask you to stay should you pack & go. I feel I’m the weaker one. It makes me pity myself & that’s something I don’t want to do. If I ever had the courage I’d have told you that the worst day of my life was when you left for that vacation of yours. I still remember the pain I went through. I never told you about it. I used to live to hear your voice just once. I wouldn’t spare a chance to check my mail. I tried to convince myself that I was getting over you but I knew it wasn’t true. The entire time felt like a trying period. I was happy as a lark the day you returned. I blessed my stars for returning you home. Oh God! What would you think if you knew that I soliloquy all day imagining to be talking to you? I know I’m crazy. I can’t help it. See I’m doing it even now. I fear that you would look at this & guess it’s about you, but I hope you won’t. Emotions are such a confuse lot, aren’t they? Always ripping us in opposite directions! I want you to know, yet I don’t. I want to love you, yet I deny. Would you like to know that I have the bouquet lying next to my arm? Well it’s for you. Here let me seal it with a kiss. I wish I could find an excuse to give it to you, but it won’t happen today. Unfortunately, tomorrow it’d no longer be presentable. Well I guess then I’d let it lie here. At least the thought was there, even if I couldn’t share it. I’ll let it kindle your sweet thoughts with its fragrance. That would sure make me happy, perhaps you’d know about it someday.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Denied Existence

“She died last week” came the tidings. Don’t bother telling me that you didn’t notice. I know you didn’t! It was never in you to observe the changes-especially such subtle ones that enter & exit smoothly & silently. I know you didn’t even know that she was a new life. You felt her presence, that I realized but you took it for granted. I bet you didn’t even think for a minute that she might’ve left your side. You wouldn’t have even imagined that she would never even return. You did whatever you thought about it then. If she bothered you, then your irritation would’ve gone without notice. If she pleased you, you might miss her presence. In either case you wouldn’t be able to conjure neither her existence, nor her death. Nobody knows when she was born, or how she came to life, but she did. She lived well, even if her stay was short. A gleeful, bright child who danced around & laughed heartedly. She was playful & entertained all those around her. Her twinkling eyes sparkled with naught. Everyone witnessed the vivacious spirit. They all shared the innocent laughter. But today they remember little of that child. Nobody noticed it gone. They condole but in silence. She was a being alright but borrowed a mortal body. She didn’t have one of her own. That’s why you don’t know. She was a clever & jolly kid wasn’t she? So pure & innocent. Never took life for granted. She didn’t even think about death herself. Poor child! There’s still life for that body she left behind. Pray that it survives the emptiness after losing the best parts of it. The vacancy she left could only fit her & none else. Now it would forever remain bare. So close the door which has no place for another visitor. Bury the remains while her memory lives. Let no one find tracks later that will stir the past. We’ll pretend that she never lived!

Friday, December 03, 2004

Song To The Innocent

Where there is water there is blue
 Where miracles happen, I found you
 Life was lonely & needed a start
 Then you came in & captured my heart.

 I understand beauty when I see you smile
 It’s pure pleasure when we share a while.
 I’ll always be there for you
 There’s no end to what I’ll do
 When shelter you need, these arms will protect you
 When courage you need, they’ll lift you too
 All I have is what I’ll give
 Sweet child, it’s for you I live.

 Life may get harsh & tides do get rough
 Have faith in yourself & that’s enough
 If shadows come knocking on your door
 They’ll need to deal with me before.

 Some roads may be dark but we’ll face them together
 Hand in hand, it’s a friendship forever.
 Don’t need roses or a diamond ring
 Your smiling eyes & carefree laughter are the greatest things 

A world of innocence dwells in your eyes
 Enlocked in your embrace is what I consider Paradise.
 Innocence will live till you are here
 And never will my smile be replaced by a tear.

Thursday, December 02, 2004


Like a fallen petal she lay
Waiting for the mound of clay
Her smiling lips now silenced by time
To hold such beauty should’ve been a crime.


Beyond this world

Amongst the stars

Lies the answer to who you are

In the songs of the trees

With the swirling of the leaves

You’ll find the path to your dreams.

Fly on white horses away from this land

There’s so little compassion but you don’t understand

You belong in the stars with the angels above

Take your horses where you’ll find that love

Climb the rainbow to carry you along

Good fairies will protect you till you become strong.

Young emperor, return to your palace & your gardens

You’re not one of us; you belong to Eden

Build your dreams with ribbons & gold

Look towards the blue skies to find what the future holds

Learn to give, love & share

Reach within your soul to guide you there.

The angels will come to take you away

There’ll be bed of roses where you will lay

For your protection there’ll be armored knights For your guidance there’ll always be the shining light

Go to your world where there’s no sorrow

Sleep now my love, may you wake there tomorrow.

TO The Angel Of Death

Come fill my senses. Take control! Let me cherish every move you make. Surround me with your arms & dance with me once more. I am addicted to your charm & these worldly creatures seem like amateurs, compared to you. I live a life of lies, and better a dream of pleasure than sorrow of pretense. It hurts to laugh here, but you don’t know that word. Take me away. End my wait. Walk me through your candle-lit hall. Arrest my breath with your caress. Let me drown in the fantasy. Sweep me off my feet & carry me away. Be the love of my life, tonight I Surrender.