Monday, February 28, 2005


Angels needed no trouble, The devil had his own’
Thrown into earth to suffer alone
A pitiful creature too abhorrent to lift
Rejected even by death when exhibited as gift.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Within hidden doors

Just another slash to scar the heart
Another excuse to tear the life apart
Just another spin for a second game
In a gamble, nothing stays the same.
 So what if there came a tear in the eye
No one was there to hear the wounded sigh
No ear heard the heart breaking
No one felt the tremors of the earth shaking.
 So easy to hide behind the mask of a smile
A gentle laughter is the simplest way to beguile
Nothing difficult in swallowing the pain for a while
Every living moment becomes a trail.
 Emotions & tears must learn to wait
The situations are only in the hands of fate
Life is a gamble where someone must lose
The why do silly emotions always confuse?
 A joyful cheer & one big smile
Good enough to deceive the world for a while
 The sighs will come after closing the door
Tears can then flow freely as they did before.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Cycle To Death

I wonder why you fail to see that you’ve made your life hell
You know you do wrong-there’s no need to tell
You make a promise & break it each day
You say you’ll be good but don’t change your ways.
 I’m tired of explaining time & time again
You know how hard it’s been
 Despite all that you’re as stubborn as can be
Why do you keep forgetting how you’re losing ground quickly?
 Why must you sin & then attempt murder to hide evidence?
 All that had only lead to decadence
Imagine how good this life could’ve been
But here you’ve only shattered the dreams.
 How can you obtain peace without any pain?
How can you assume to stay forever sane?
Through your struggle you’ve taken a fall
You’re the last hero who can save or kill all.
 I understand that the prolonged fight has left you were
It’s courage from inside that you need to seek
Either win this battle or forever face gloom
Wake up while there’s still time or just enter doom!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Cringing Away

Perhaps the truth should’ve been known
Shouldn’t have trusted a heart that could turn to stone
The best had been leeched out that’s for sure
But it gave no reason to make another life insecure.

 Accepted that tolerated enough & suffered in silence
Instead of rising degree it led to decadence
Patience, love & generosity should’ve filled the sphere
But just fears & cold emptiness abodes there.

 Leaned against the door scared to allow inside
The knock sounded lovely & tempted to confide
 Longed for the right one to erase the pain
But feared it all to end in vain.

 Displayed emotions that actually didn’t exist
Desired to prove strength beyond the fist
Despite the heart falling to crumbles inside
The pretty smile managed to save the pride.

 Insecurities within held back from reaching for the best
 Reason quietly laid the urges to rest
Scarred plenty to allow another slash
Leading the heart & mind to constantly clash.

 The heart yearned for a final try
But the mind refused to allow another cry
The soul needed a companion but the mind condemned to give in
 Holding a generous heart it labeled as a sin.

 It would’ve been easier to leave it all untouched
A sweet taste of it then desired much
When the trust had vanished due to that before
Should’ve never had called one to knock upon the door.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Pleasant View

A thought crossed the mind..... Tickled a smile on the lips.............. It had to be you.

Flitted Emotions

Like Travelling on a road knowing the 'detour' sign ahead we kept moving.
 Like a couple doing a waltz To an abruptly ended song We held onto each other.
 Like a starving mortal awaiting a piece of food I craved for your love.
 Like a drunken man unaware of his situation I tolerated everything from you.
 Like an echo bouncing once then getting lost in the air My words came but went unheard.
 Like a beaten soldier Returning from war I walked away from your doorstep.
 Like ghosts occupying a house After its inhabitants leave Your presence kept me company.
 Like a rose torn petal by petal Then blown by the wind My tortured wait ended in vain.
 Like falling from 90 feet & still undead Your image still lingers in my head.
 Like sustaining silence After the music had ended
My empty life continued.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

My writing is like…

Wind-blown sand, You can feel it, Yet you cannot hold, But you will see it when it settles.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Random thought

If you display your weakness they’ll call you weak & mock If you cover & try being strong, they’ll bring you down Its hard being human.


Restless eyes that wouldn't shut all night long Lie awake in pain waiting for dawn A weakened body that no body could see Days of blissful wonder became a memory.


Kya hai bekarari ye dil jaanay na
Behtay hain ye ashk per aank bhi jaanay na
Howa hai ka khud bunda bhi hai bekhabar
Bus bechani si hai jo samujh mein aye na.

Friday, February 18, 2005

The Dark Face Of Love

That nagging feeling that keeps recurring. A rational thought to chase it away. Voice inside insists "admit it!" No!! Please silence everything! A sigh devoured by the wind. The quiet beating of the heart. Flush on the face but veiled from the eyes. The lovely grin gave away the secret. Such a disappointment to be here. There were such high expectations. A string of dreams-the picture's changed now. Cling to those dreams before they fade.

 This couldn't have happened. Can't be more than an illusion. An induced fantasy after years of brainwashing. But why do these sensations go so deep? An adolescent's fantasy that has no base. The skies wait for u to soar through them. But this bloody human flesh won't commit. It's only familiar with the grave-untaught to fly.

 The traveling road is dark throughout. Look ahead into the pitch, turn back & it's still dark. Emotions are deaf-will never listen, So seal the lips to prevent the words from revealing. So unsure yet wish upon the desire. A desire that'll remain only a vision even if accepted by reality. A solemn need that'll go unattended. Would do no good to pretend either. A pleasant feeling to soar through the clouds, But not-so-pleasant to fall from the sky. Hang on to those dreams that'll carry you through this life, Cause human hearts will only bleed!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

That painted blue

A fragment of a dream gone by
Regretful memories but the eyes are dry
The soul experienced the deepest cut
Now pain wouldn’t let these restless eyes shut.
Regretful memories play of a love untrue
Lie awake thinking the whole night through
Want to cry but for what reason
There’s nothing solid-it was just a changing season..
So many memories & years gone by
Yet the heart refuses to say goodbye
Long to return for just a moment
But it’ll take the same lifetime to make the heart content.
Linger on those dreams & dances
Sunrises on the beach & midnight romances
But dreams like winds will get carried away
Nothing in time will ever stay.
Try to deny that nothing exists
Search for the real existence but it’s all in a mist
The mind’s forgotten what life was about
The reality’s shaken & normal life’s a doubt.
There was forever once where there’s emptiness now
A band of gold & a broken vow
Inexpressive glances which once shown with love
Now stir coldness within, of the dark, stormy skies above.
A torture that’s worse than death
A trail of shattered dreams & broken wreaths
Standing on a road with no return
A jaded existence to kindle the heart that will forever burn.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A frame On the Wall

A picture on the wall hangs as a reminder of the old days. Its presence still raises a questioning eyebrow. It means nothing even though it had been of immense value once. It was the harvest of the hours of tending to the garden of human bonding. It was valuable & with good reason. The smiles on those faces brought a gush of good memories & a sense of companionship & serenity. A treasure too priceless to exchange! Just the reminiscing gave so much strength & the actual presence lifted the spirit to the peak. Such had been those days! Now it hung-perhaps just for recollection of the days gone. Maybe the heart longed for that kind of attachment again. Perhaps it hadn’t been removed & just remained. Maybe there was more to the story than that. Possibly the heart yearned to fill the spaces left behind. It may be trying to extract the last of the comfort the picture or its memories could provide. Maybe the eyes had grown used to the sight & wouldn’t like to displace it. The mind knew that there was nothing left of it yet could find little reason for leaving the picture that had no purpose anymore. Perhaps it was her face & the attractive features that kept it there. There could’ve been so many reasons. Well whatever the reason maybe the picture remains. Our smiling faces still linger in this room stirring the flashbacks from the time we knew the end of our road; but never failed to cherish the shared moments.

Monday, February 14, 2005

For The Love Of Her

Found her heart & held the flame 
Unsure to let it kindle my heart or be the same 
Didn’t know the road love end up on Life was easier to live with indifference & scorn.
 Hurt would come quickly or so I thought
 Left things in fate’s hand so I just forgot 
If she needed she’d call on me 
Otherwise I’d desert it like a forgotten memory.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Swept into illusion

Stabbed the heart to bleed to death
Waited in vain for the final breath
Sprawled near the bars of my prison I lay
But even death wouldn’t take me away.
 Drank till breathless, for the intoxication to kill
But immortality remained a vision never to be fulfilled
Sealed the lips to keep what was left of dignity
Fallen too far, to ever recover from insanity.
 Hoped some light to shine my way
But found no reason to wake at day
Remained on the ground lost in memory
Haze eluded vision making reality too hard to see.
 Sweat my blood to dull the pain
Prayed for the love to end in vain
Wanting to reveal, but scared to tell
Someone called abode, but was too addicted to ever leave hell.
 Bit by bit, I began to die
Angels took too long to hear my cry
Born too stubborn to ever tolerate intrusion
So escaped from reality, to live in illusion.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Damn of dawn

How much more will I bear this pain?
Feels like I’m gonna go insane
Hurt of every minute adds up to years
There’s nothing left to show except these tears.
 Joy once within is now shadowed by sorrow
Nothing will stop the damnation tomorrow
Shed tears or fade the hue
But nothing will come to the rescue.
 Tearful eyes & wavy smiles
Dream that it’s only for a while
Comfort’s only in what you pretend
When reality is only marking the end.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Border of love

Should I glow or should I cry?
 How’d this happen & I wonder why?
How did the laughter touch so deep?
When I’d checked my grounds before making the leap.
 I wanted your friendship & nothing more
So why do you choose another door?
The closer you come the farther
I feel Laughing it all is the only way to conceal.
 The truth will hurt if you found out
That’s what this whole matter about
Your dedication is too much for me to stand
But how can I express the words to make you understand?
 Never wanted love or a thought of pain
I’d crossed those shores but never to remain
There were those gave more than you could
But I turned away the affection for the good.
 It’ll be cruel not to be unkind
Wise men said that love is blind
Emotions are better if they drift away
They trouble the waters & only lead astray.
 I really appreciate your concern & care
But give only as much to play fair
Friendship is all that you’ll ever get
More than this there will only be regret.

Monday, February 07, 2005

The Sinner

Just another few steps & I’ll be out the door-the place that binds us together. I shall walk out from the room that retains the memories of the meetings-the sacred moments of joy & the soul-wrenching tears of pain. The laughter that’s buried within the walls shall remain & there shall remain the secret of our passionate sins. I hear those voices call from behind me, but I carry along my path. It took ages to summon the courage to attempt this, must not fail this time. Yet they continue. Images from the unburied times sweep in front of me like wind-blown dust to persuade me to return. I watch them plead, without mercy. I must not listen & keep walking. I can feel my heart broken into bits but I’ll tend to it later. My head’s heavy with the swirling memories. The old days surround me as though I was strolling through an exhibition. I shake my head to push them away. The dark concrete walls were now damp & cold. Perhaps it was my mind set! I knew beyond myself there was someone anxiously watching me as I walked. I know he’d miss my presence as much as I. I know his insides were shattered as much as mine. I know he’d too much pride to ask me to stay. Perhaps it was my imagination that he felt that way! I wanted to turn around but I knew I shouldn’t. I knew it’d be hard for me to try again. These walls & everything in it, gave me a sense of completion that I’d been missing before. I was nothing & within these walls I’d grown & learnt the meaning of giving & receiving love-the love that made me whole. I found the shoulder that gave me peace & shelter. I thought that I would always belong. Those days of loving were past. Another wind had begun to blow & I needed to change direction with it. I needed to be carried to the lands where it would take me. I had sinned enough. I had to return to the claws of my conscience for salvation. I needed to be baptized. No one could save me…I had sinned!

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Trampling over the past

He puffed a cloud of smoke in the air
Another bombshell to lay the pastures bare
A whirlpool of memories turned to smoke
Easing a heart that would otherwise choke.

 Not just love but more was lost
A delightful life had been the cost
A big price to pay for nothing in return
Now in that only hellish fires burn.

 He goes into a retrospect of a decade
Analyzing what had caused the love to fade
Once a world was now ash in the hand &
Destiny’s labyrinth was too complex to understand.

 He sighed & folded his arms across the chest
The heart pounded too fast to rest
Too many regrets for such a short while
Took away all that could stir a smile.

 He wanted to forgive & just move on
But when were the dead ever reborn?
What was lost was gone for good
Happiness fled, stranding him where he stood.

 He looked out the window to wish upon a star
In the hearts of heart he wished joy wasn’t far
He didn’t believe in retrieving what was gone
Just needed a fresh start to simply move on.

 He knew time hadn’t been a friend
Left too many breaks for him to mend
He knew he’d boarded the nowhere train
& now needed a life before going insane.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Memories of yesterday

At times I wonder were you the only one for me? Were you the only one to cherish the person I was to be? The first & last person to love me for who I am? & never give up on me even if my life was a sham? At times I feel that I did wrong To resist a love that felt so strong But I know if given another chance I’d do the same I can’t ever learn the rules of this game. Sometimes I miss the life we left behind I know you were the best companion I’d ever find The one who knew best how I feel & for my sake put in so much zeal. At times I miss all the love & laughter All that happened before & what came after Was it really the last goodbye? Or will we be given another try? I want you to know that I love you & that I was always true Though these emotions I’d never be able to tell I want you to know that I sure miss you like hell!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

For the Dream keepers

Friendship is a gift more precious than gold It continues to glitter no matter how old When home seems to be far Friendship comes as a shining star When the road is dark & hard to understand The miles become easier with a hand in hand When sorrow fills the brand new day The hand of a friend wipes the tears away In good times there are loads of smiles But the smile of friendship is the best of smiles.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

A Letter beside the Dying Amber

In the light of the amber that’s dying
There’s a letter written in ink that’s drying
Inked words that have no meaning
Words the heart wants to continue believing.
 Beside the dying amber there’s a pen that lies
The writer thinks of good words as he sighs
Words are always kind but they aren’t real
There are a dozen good wishes but it’s not the way he feels.
 Statements & kind words only become hollow with time
But lying to keep someone’s heart isn’t a crime!
Fill up pages speaking of love & care
 What really matters upon the unfolding you won’t be there!
 A letter will always be no matter how untrue
Fill it up with “best wishes” & “I love you” s
 As long as no one’s hurt it’s okay to pretend
After all anything’s worth keeping an old friend!