Think

I saw this question posted on someone's blog & it set my mind in motion. I wanted to know what U thought about it: " IF u had a choice between fixing something in the past & knowing an important event from the future what would you choose?" IN my case my life would change inside-out so I'd fix a past event. What's your pick?

Fates Unknown

TODAY I await you not,

I only sit by the window reminiscing
The tender moments that fill my mind.
 Your gentle whisper caresses my ear
As I acknowledge your tale with a smile
I recall the way you lightly touched my hand
Telling me a million tales, spoken in silence.

Through the misty picture I could still trace 

The outline of your smile with my fingertips

Time has created unbridgeable distances & I wonder how much of us you’d remember & miss

I know not where you are

But like this dandelion I blow you a kiss on the wind
To float away to its fate-stranded & forgotten
Like the story of our lives.

Time lapse

I called an old friend today. There really was no need to talk. Perhaps it was a test for the mind & heart to see if the pain still lingered.

The tone continued twice, thrice then a familiar voice answered. It had taken courage to reconnect after ages. Was it good to hear the sound? Not particularly-just strange. Time already gone had its own tale. Today was a different story. There was a lot of time lapse-too much missed & neither side was willing to bridge the distance. The past was buried. Pain never mentioned. Feelings now hollow. It was just a mastery of the mind to keep extending the conversation. The will to share was gone. In reality only strangers who’d met at some cross-road: Strangers who had held & consoled each other at one time.

Age brought along its tides of change. Who’d know who we are now? We were accustomed to pretense back then; reverting back to it even now was nothing new. Charm fades & values deplete; all that remain from a life so sweet are memories- or not even those.

Love’s despair

He woke up in the middle of the night. The lamp was still on. The side of the bed was empty. He checked the time. It was 20 minutes past 1 am. He got a little worried knowing her mid-night walk habit that she hadn’t left even after her single years ended. He pulled his robe on & turned the latch. He checked the hall which was empty meaning that his parents were asleep. He carefully walked down the stairs & entered the dimly lit bar with only a single bulb lighted at the far end.

He saw her seated on the stool & sprawled across the counter. Her wrists were hanging off the edge. He got really anxious but made no hurried effort so not to wake her. He touched her sweaty hand & gently stroked her bare arm up to her shoulder. The entire limb was full of perspiration as though she’d just showered. Riverlets of sweat trickled down the border of his palm & dropped to the floor, as he halted.

She gathered her arms & straightened her head staring him right in the eye with her own blood-shot ones. He really wanted to reprimand her yet just hold her close. He understood that love hurt & he was weak as far as she was concerned. He’d suffered in love so could relate to what she was feeling then. He was jealous of the man she loved because she belonged to him, yet he was powerless. He thought that it’d taken a lot of misery for her to come down for a drink since it was against her nature to drink. Still not accustomed to it, drinking was torture for her. Despite her hatred for whisky she had gotten herself drunk.

She quietly studied his face, waiting for him to scold her & lecture her on her foolishness for loving someone who could never belong to her.

He didn’t.Instead he stepped closer & from behind cupped her face tenderly in his palm & stroke it with his thumbs.

She looked up with her innocent eyes then extended her arms around his neck. He bent down & he kissed her on the nape as she called his name in desperation. She ran her fingers through his hair & he picked her up. Partly drunk & partly broken he seemed to be a raft in a stormy weather; she was sure she had him for now & didn’t hesitate to lean on him in her misery. Throughout it’d been a story never meant to change.

Another Brick in the Wall

It is the heart’s misfortune to love. We only suffer for our own desires. No one is to be blamed for the pain we feel. It is our own inadequacy to count on people. They know not how to heal but are experts at rending. So what if there’s no hand to hold?  There may be a need for none. It’s about learning to aspire higher than human hands can carry. In self shall thee find a universe enough to get along this rusty road of life. Another bitter end is just another brick in the wall.

The Beloved's Departure

Could I hold u for just another minute? Just another moment till the stifling of this heart would cease? It's the pain that stirs it. Besides that it has no other meaning. I would not delay you. I won't hold on too long. It's just the sense of loss that makes me quiver. You shouldn't think of anything else. I have no ill-intentions. I have no other purpose. If you tell me that it's going to be alright then I might stabilize but I doubt that to be true. I want you in my life & don't know how to go on without you. I have done that for more than 2 decades now but how do you convince your heart that it can go on without someone? I just know that I love you & can't forget all that we've shared. I know that everything will work out in fact I've lived with the idea of the whole thing ending. But goodbye isn't easy. Its bitter-sweet when departure is short but on the long run its better to say nothing.