Life After Love

(A dialouge between two girlfriends after one loses her lover)

Loneliness is a friend so easy to keep

When the hurt sinks soul-deep

The heart learns to rely on its only friend

& the mind distrusts the mortals & starts to pretend.

Mortal minds are the same only thinking alters

& when the heart is wounded trust does falter

But given time the wound heals & trust can be regained

Loneliness is no friend & only encourages to feign.

Feigning is easier than opening a wounded soul

Loneliness can make a person whole

Broken trust takes time to revive

By then the heart finds other means to survive.

Survival of the fittest comes natural to all

But the heart should learn to stand after a fall

Giving up hope is no way to live

To get the best, requires the best to give.

Hearts are prone to play silly games

A new game opens & nothing stays the same

One heart broken is one piece lost

The loss of another-the higher the cost.

The cost gets higher that’s for sure

From such skirmishes no heart is secure

But itself the heart must learn to mend

& not shatter to pieces as it usually tends.

Love lies in words but lesser in deeds

Its love that makes the heart bleeds,

A promise of love & that’s how the story goes

A new passion & that’s the end of the vow.

Everything has it’s time to go

One performance over & its time for the next show

There’s a lot to give for alittle gain

& the heart must be strong enough to learn to live again.

Dreams are for the day & tears for the night

Thrown into the pits after exalted to such heights

How could the heart then learn to trust?

When after hovering the skies it’s thrown onto the dust.

Love needs time to develop if it has to live long

Even the wings of a bird take time to grow strong

First they learn & then they fly

Similarly faith & trust grow as time goes by.

The pain of some wounds is too much concealed

It hurts the pride to know it could be revealed

It’s not instantaneous but recurs time after time

& when encountered with its source, reaches its prime.

Wounds can heal if they are exposed

Nothing can affect what is closed

There can’t be any heroes without any call

Then how can they know when there is a fall?

Why take the chance when the end is the same?

Why risk a lifetime to guilt & blame?

Arrival of the right one might take years

Is that really worth all the tears?

What are years compared to a lifetime of bliss?

Every sacrifice quashes when matched with this

Why feel sorrow or guilt if love turns out wrong?

There’ll be greater love when the right one comes along.

She

She is the dream that touches reality, Then folds inside herself again, She is the one who loves you, Her love peeks from those valentine chocholate wrapppers, She is the one who tends to the night, To make it pleasant & peaceful for you, She feels ur pain, She'll cry ur tears for u, So u can smile for her, She'll understand how u feel- You'll see her glow when you talk. She secretly guards her love for you, Pretending she doesnt know you love her. She wants another dance with you, But is too shy to ask. In that tender heart she harbors a desire, To be loved unconditionally, Only for her.

Dancing In The Mists

Unveiling Beauty

Dedicated to Sabs It wasn’t like it was new-had been social since long but this seemed like a suitable match. No one could deny that it was seemingly torn by conflicts, yet there was unbelievable attraction. I thought it wouldn’t last. Funny as it turned out to be that similarities were on war. It was thought-provoking. The mere notion that here was someone who appeared so different yet displayed the same colors was fascinating in itself. I spent like 22 years walking the same streets & had also met my lost twin on the way but this was far more fun. I always enjoyed deciphering difficult personalities, especially the discrepancies in nature. I had a love for discovering what people tend to conceal. I was quick to notice the qualities that were similar to mine in whoever they appeared. This was a different case. It took time. Not much of my nature to wait around for things to show. This was a case of breaking a precedent & without regret.

 It was amusing to watch different roles in one person at a particular time. Here were feet that altered grounds as smoothly as foam on the tides. I called it fluidity & when I should’ve hated MY quality exhibiting in someone else, I loved it. I would never claim to be good at playing games but I was amused by observing contestants at their crafty sport. I’ve always marveled at some people’s talents for “tackling” others. I suppose we all have that to some limit in us. I discovered depth-something I was longing for since ages. Any area I tried laying a finger on just sublimed into a multihued bubble-like mass before vanishing without a trace. The fantasy was too exciting. I wanted to touch & explore it before it drifted into thin air. I didn’t get opportunities like it too often. Anything to rouse my intrinsic qualities was inviting. I wanted so badly to know ME that I treaded into unwelcome grounds to discover it. When a mental challenge waited, it was too tempting to refuse. I had to at least try shifting things around & put the pieces in the correct order. I really wasn’t the puzzle person but nevertheless could at least conjure the type of piece that’d fit, if not the real thing. I’d use any means to get my answers which could be anything from my imagination or music to philosophy. I’ve always believed that every lock has a key. If there shall exist one, I should get it. Pretty adamant attitude don’t you think? Surely one you’d admire to know. Just the unlocking was exhilarating & became far more rewarding if consisted of some gems. It wasn’t that behind every lock there was a treasure; at times it consisted of aged soot. The experience was crushing. But some locks held treasures beyond imagination. I knew the secret of life-treasures were well guarded. Remember the pearl shell, the butterfly’s cocoon or the diamond in the ore, even the rainbow was covered by clouds. The greatest beauty was always hidden. I learnt that early. I, being of vivid imagination longed for fancy. I couldn’t blame myself for being in love with the obscure. I’d already had an affair with “touch me & I’ll disappear”, it was unlikely that I’d miss the chance to date “touch me but you can’t”. I could see solid feet but never knew how well they’d transform. My dreams came true. Illusions in real life! Someone prevent me from falling in love! I’d been pathetic at resisting temptation.

I wanted a prospect to learn how to hold the intangible. Impossible was a word I’d removed from my lexicon. So it was a challenge dancing before my eyes. No matter how hard I tried to resist, it haunted me. I was starving for glory. I needed it now, more than ever. I couldn’t avert my eyes from something so rare. Uniqueness was another one of my weaknesses including originality. Wild horses wouldn’t have driven me away from this situation. I had to just learn to hold on long enough to see beyond the film of colors. The assignment required patience & skill. To exacerbate the task the entire scene witnessed a performance of various transformations. A mesmerizing show indeed, but equally perplexing. The thrill remained. Slowly consistent efforts started producing results. One by one the colors separated & became comprehensive, yet some continued to blend & alter. I watched in awe, enjoying each entity as it deserved-some more some less. I was delighted at my discovery & proud of myself for taking the time.

 Some things are well worth waiting for. This was one of them. Life is full of amazing discoveries. Who’s really expecting to come across such lovely creatures when they dive into those deep oceans? It’s spell-binding the things they find thousands of feet away from the human eye. It’s not that they hit upon something valuable every time. They do return disappointed too. So with effort, discovery & disappointments are a part of life. I’d my share of that in the past. My imagination didn’t result in regret, which was creditable for me. I had high hopes & didn’t fancy letting them shatter to the ground. I consider myself lucky for being given this opportunity. For once I not only found an interesting pursuit but it’d been a time of training as well as learning. There are lessons to learn from all that we come across. I made the most of what I’d been granted. It was one of those walks of life that I’d remember & always cherish. It was a time well-spent. Strolling along the road I lifted my face to behold an attractive soul. I witnessed an indefinable beauty that transcended physical measures, by simply looking into a face of a woman.

A treasure discovered but late

I miss him. I miss all the time that we shared & all that we missed out on. I miss the times he held my hand & guided me through our early days. I miss the times he ran through hazards to get me the things I loved. I miss playing & laughing with him. Those never returning tender moments lost in the waves of time. I miss the way he teased me. All those times that I’d screamed to be left alone. I miss the way he dragged me with him. Those times that I’d enjoyed despite the fuss I created. I miss the way he accompanied me on those long miles. Never caring whatever anyone thought & just enjoyed our journey. I miss being encouraged by him. The way he would assuredly say “you can do it!” & I did. I miss the times we competed & joshed only with the spirit of sport. I wish we had learnt earlier. I wish I’d taken the time to be the person he’d count on. I wish there was lesser of what was right or wrong than about unity & support. I wish we’d understood then what it’d mean to be apart & grown older. They told us then “you’ll miss it all when you’ve grown up.” I wish we’d been wiser but then what’s a child if he’s wise? I wish I’d more time than I do. I wish I’d sought the companionship he so many times offered. I wish we were better friends than be turned out to be. Why did I never have the courage to tell him that he’d always been my source of inspiration? Why did I never tell him that I was really proud of him? Why didn’t I ever tell him that I wished that I could be as good as he was? Why didn’t I ever thank him for standing out for me & making me who I am? Why didn’t I thank him for the support he gave me despite me never doing the same for him? I wish I’d told him that he made me feel good. But why had I been so blindly selfish? I miss running with him. I miss telling the world that we were going for a walk & nobody was going to have it any other way. I wish we’d always been so united. We’d have been the best friends ever. I want to turn back the clock & get things the way they could have been but I’m losing even the time I have left. I wish we had more time than we do. Tomorrow there’ll be someone else by his side & our days would be over. I wanted that in some way but not anymore. I would miss him so much more. No more crazy rides together. No more going tracking to the hills by his side. What would happen to our crazy jokes, our foolish dramatic acts? Just a room away I feel like running to him & saying “don’t forget us!” {Seems it’s still about usL} Foolish pride keeps the lips silence. There’s so much to thank him for yet he hardly ever heard a word. Well should teach us to make the best of what we have & that to come. Hope he finds bliss in those to come even though our days would be done. Well, seems we got our chances even if we didn’t use them well. I just wanted to say “I miss you already, brother.”

The Promise

Silence echoes within these walls.Between each echo I try to call your name. My lips part to speak but no words come. How could it? I do not know your name yet. There’s a halo of emotions surrounding me. There’s hollowness within. I want to bridge the distance keeping me apart from myself. Through prayers yet unanswered I await your arrival. I do not know your face but instinctually I will know it’s you. The aura of the purest love would suffice.
There’s so much the mind has suppressed to avoid pain. Mine’s the faces that change constantly to hide from strangers-The masks I choose to protect myself. You dwell in my soul & your thoughts vitalize me. I’m a prisoner, till your love would release me. Only time keeps us apart.
I can feel you, Within these shadows, You've given me feelers for love. Every entity mirrors your existence, It’s your presence that colors these skies above. Life would glow in its hues when your soul joins mine. I heard you swear, Then I swore too, Ours is a promise of many lifetimes.

One of those days

It was one of those days I wanted to scream to the skies “I give up!” It felt like been doing the two-steps forward two-steps back with fate since forever, along with plenty of misalignments. It seemed that I was always the one welcoming fate & it always decided to leave me out. Waiting. I was tired of playing hide & seek with it: tired of fooling myself every time that it would work out sooner or later. I waited in vain. Now I was tired of it. I was even tired of myself. I didn’t know whether to blame myself or my cursed fate for my plight. The truth might not do much good, but lies would no longer serve as panacea. I needed answers & this time for the keeps. My mind was lost. I didn’t have much to say. I didn’t have much to do. I just lie trying to recall everything I had carefully put together as a child. Then innocence didn’t know that dreams may never become a part of reality. Youth believes in miracles & maybe that’s why they see it come true. When do babies worry about where the next dry diaper would come from? They have hope. It works! In my state of mind I could’ve thrashed myself if I had a chance to separate from my body! I didn’t know who & what was right. I just knew that my grounds were too shaken to survive. I would fall & I knew no one could help me- a realization that did little than to add to the isolation. Some voices resonated in my head long after they’d been silenced like a balm in my dreary state. I couldn’t even force a smile. Those unseen, long kept wounds became to bleed again. I kept trying to grapple the ground that seemed to be slipping. It seemed that all the years work had added up to nothing. There were so many goals but suddenly everything seemed like bosh. I didn’t know where I was coming from or where I was going. Life had never been so static. Where was energy when I needed it? Where was God when I needed answers? Where was life when I was calling? I didn’t know where any new direction would lead me. I just knew the way I’d been traveling all these years but it seemed to lead me nowhere. Where was I supposed to go now? If I called Heavens they’d ignore me too. If I called for a hero, I received no answer. Wasn’t there anyone listening to me or had I been blabbering only in my head?

A Point In Time

So much gone but the best is yet to come... I'm waiting for another rainbow to smile on, I'm searching for another star to wish upon, I'm looking for another mountian to climb, I'm questing for another ocean to dive, I'm awaiting another wind to ride, I'm standing at the crossroads of my life.

The Everlasting Dance

(Man) There you go stealing my heart away
Leaving me stranded with this feeling within
Here I’m restless & you’ll never know why
You don’t even see me as you walk on by.

  (Woman) In a thousand faces I’ve searched for you 
Looking for love that’s lasting & true
 But all I see are stranger’s faces 
You disappear without leaving your traces. 

I want to live through magic for a while
Dance with the beauty with the dazzling smile
 I want a moment in the final dance
Young Belle, hold me in your trance!

  I’ve dreamt of this night a million times 
I’ve practiced every syllable & every rhyme 
At times I feel some feet on the ground
 But there are only strangers when I turn around! 

What’s this deadly game that you play?
Your smile steals my heart away
Look my way just one time
I’ve waited all my life to call you mine.

Am I dreaming or are you flesh & bone? 
That look was my imagination, I could’ve sworn 
You’re dancing there so carefree 
I can’t believe that you’re smiling at me! 

I’ll deny the world for a dance with you
You’re the brightest rose amongst the chosen few
An amazing beauty walking with such grace
A heavenly goddess from another place.

  Is that affection I see?
 Or is my mind playing tricks on me? 
I can feel some feet on the ground I love this feeling of being held spell-bound! 

How do I present myself to this creature so fair?
There must be something special to invite her near
I want the final dance or I’ll never be content
Give me a chance, just for a moment.

  Handsomer than ever you stand afar 
Fulfillment of a fantasy is what you are 
Surely there haven’t been such intensified charms 
But why are there ever changing partners in your arms? 

So finally you look my way
Your beauty numbs me with nothing to say
I wish I could tell you the way I feel
You must be an angel or something unreal.

  I wanted this moment as I never did before
 Make this dance everlasting & I’d ask for nothing more 
Let it be no one else when the music comes to an end 
I’ll be your partner, your ever cherished friend. 

I’ve waited for this moment as long as I could remember
 A sincere heart & a love so tender
The music will play as long as you dare & this dance will last forever as long as you are there.

Lifting The Curtain

She’s the magician, the hidden beauty, flowing gracefully out of the dark alley with a stream of pale light behind her. She’s cloaked in black with her face hooded & lowered. She steps silently like air. She has no voice. Her throat partially displays an adornment of gold that symbolizes that she can afford luxuries. Every inch of her redefines elegance. Her hands are her only feature allowed to be viewed.
She’s not the dark maiden that she’s mistaken for, by her name. Her fair fingers are long & somewhat pointed at the top. Her long nails are glowing white, untouched by the modern paints. She holds her hand between the fingers & thumb of the other-gently & gracefully like descending fog. She leaves the alley to her black stallion awaiting her with the long, shiny black mane, a creature like her self-sturdy & grand.

She’s gentle, natural & detached possessing the knowledge unshared by others. She knows the world but the world knows her not. . She is a symbol of beauty, elegance& mystery; the keeper of secrets; the holder of mystical powers. She’s the mistress of darkness as she mounts her stallion & rides off into the unknown, softly like the breeze, as quietly as she came. After all she was only half mortal & half shadow!

A Love Story

<>They say that I’m in love & I deny. What do you expect me to do? They really don’t see things through my eyes. Love is bout giving & receiving-one-sided encounters are crushes or the sort. How many is a different situation.

My destiny is still unknown; my path is vague as possible. I don’t know for what I’m headed. I haven’t prepared for anything. I just go with the flow. I don’t even know how I’d get there or for that fact anywhere. I enjoy the encounters & grow with the experience. How could I be in love with anyone or anything in particular?

I’m in love with life & all the creatures of this world. I salute the ground I walk on & seek shelter from the skies. The good things in my life are the rainbow & the inspiring people the stars of the night.

That is my love story.

A few words

Never felt the need to be known
Thought the heart would remain a stone
Oblivious of what anyone would say
A solitary journey would keep me gay.

Life’s little canvas

Toxic blood runs in the veins
The celiac plexuses hold a minor pain
A weak smile to convince that it didn’t matter
Wisdom killed the hope that could shatter.
 Had known the truth all along
Struggled to save it despite being wrong
 Had it been deep, it would’ve felt different inside
In reality only found a place to confide.
 Knew own demands to be too high
So at every corner turned & said goodbye
Aware that none could fulfil the need
So why bother to make the heart bleed?

 Never wanted to be loved the wrong way
Lived by the principles, come what may
Despite it all, was misunderstood over & over again
Life offered nothing from going insane.
Just alittle difficulty in taking a few breaths
Vain it’d be to even call upon death
These prayers were said to be left unheard
Needed no one to encounter the absurd.

Words were all that could convince
Wanted to reach out to no one who’d wince
Would take someone strong to bear the truth
But these eyes would remain searching beyond youth.
The past hazed like water colors spread out
Could never grasp what life was about
Let people live with wrong to avoid the fuss
Gave up today what would be just another blot on the canvas.